pikachu? is that you???

On September 27th, 2007 I wrote in my old blog :

"now let's say, hypothetically, that we were able to breed pikachus...would you buy one? they are super-cute, have good temperment, and we may even be able to customize them! pshhh to cats and dogs, pikachus are the the future.

also, i am absolutely retarded."

AND NOW I SEE THIS?!?!?



and this story.

Stolen, for sure! Do you think I have any legal recourse?

kinda...want to...

From the NKOTB mailing list (yeah, I'm on it, SO FUCKING WHAT):

BOSTON, MA
September 6th at 1pm
Newbury Comics ** GRAND OPENING**
Faneuil Hall Marketplace
North Market Building
Boston, MA 02109
(617) 248-9992

Purchase the New Kids on the Block CD "The Block" and you will receive a special pass to attend the autograph signing! (Limited Space Available) PASS DISTRIBUTION BEGINS AT 8AM ON 9/6 AT THIS LOCATION ONLY

--------

So I am considering doing this. Though I don't really want the CD at all. And though I'm not I have sure the attention span to wait in line that long. And 8am on Saturday? Ummm. But I've met one New Kid...four to go.

Oh Jon Knight! Just come hang out in Providence again and be my BFF! And get me better seats at the show!

My nostalgia is out of fucking control. Help.

jo, beth, amy, meg, marmeeeeee!

Today, I've been totally nerding out about this: Louisa May Alcott: The Woman Behind Little Women. It's a documentary film about, obviously, Louisa May Alcott, the lady who wrote Little Women aka the obsession of my childhood. Oh my, did I LOVE this book and the fact that it was semi-autobiographical was even better. Louisa = Jo in the book, basically. Growing up in Massachusetts was fabulously convenient because Louisa GREW UP THERE TOO! And that meant I could totally go visit her house and geek out on the very ground where Little Women was written. I went several times throughout the 1980s. This is the famed Orchard House:



It's located in Concord, MA. I have next Monday off - I wonder if I can get anyone to join in my nerdfest and go visit the house. There's all that Revolutionary War Lexington/Concord stuff to do out there too. This website has all the info on her house.

I'm pretty sure my obsession started very young with a cartoon version of Little Women that was at my local videostore. This particular videostore had this weird magnet system to denote whether the video was in or not - like there was a magnet on the box if it was available. I used to HIDE the magnet on this video if for some reason I wasn't able to rent it that particular day. I didn't want anyone else to watch it. I'd pretty much have a melt-down if it wasn't in when I wanted it. I've been trying to do some research on this version, and all I can really find is this:



This might be it. Apparently, there were several anime versions of Little Women produced in the 80s, so I'm not sure exactly which version I saw. All I know is I would LOVE to see this again.

I fancied myself a kind of combination of Jo/Beth. Like Jo, I loved to write. In fact, I kind of considered myself a child prodigy in play-writing and chapter books. (This is, of course, absolutely untrue). I liked to think I inhabited Jo's "spunky independence" though I was in NO way a tomboy like Jo. Super girly to the max. That's where Beth comes in...sickly, super-feminine Beth. I also had an obsession with tragic childhood disease (wrote many plays about this). Imagine how completely stoked I was when I contracted scarlet fever as a kid. Yes, my friends, Beth dies from scarlet fever. When I got it, there was no actual danger of DEATH, with the advent of antibiotics and all, but still...now I could really relate, ya know?

In the mid-90s came the new film version, the pet project of Ms. Winona Ryder. Um. LOVE HER. Anyway...it's pretty fucking good. Winona is of course Jo. Claire Danes as poor Beth. Kirsten Dunst as Amy. Trini Alvarado as Meg (Trini, where are you? She was also the star of one of my favorite movies ever - Times Square - but that's another blogpost for another day). And, HELLO, Susan Sarandon as Marmee. CINEMA GOLD, PEOPLE!



Oh yeah, and Christian Bale plays the hot neighbor boy, Laurie. Wooo!

If you're in the Providence area, the Louisa May Alcott documentary is screening at the Columbus Theatre Saturday 8/9 at 3pm as part of the RI International Film Festival. Yeah, nerd-time!!

jesse & the rippers reunion?!?!?

Nope, but Jesse & the Beach Boys!

Or Stamos...or whatever...Jesse Stamos...John Katsopolis...it's all the same to me! Remember when Uncle Jesse was all about the Beach Boys in the late 80s, "Kokomo"-era? He made a guest-appearance in the video even! And the Beach Boys came on over to "Full House" - cross-over city! There are a lot of exclamation points here. I get way too stoked about cheesy things from my childhood. Sorry.

So...anyway. Life was way cool back then because I was madly in love with John Stamos and completely obsessed with the Beach Boys. I wrote a heartfelt, passionate love letter to Mr. Stamos but he never responded. I guess I should give him props for not leading on an 8-year-old girl. Then later that year, I attended my very first concert which happened to be: THE BEACH BOYS! I convinced myself that John Stamos was going to show up for a guest appearance just like in the video and it would be TRUE LOVE, but alas, he did not.

Despite all the disappointment that John Stamos brought to my life in the late 80s, I still wear my "Jesse & the Rippers" t-shirt with unabashed pride.

For more on this recent B-boys/Stamos collaboration visit Oh No They Didn't!

BONUS! Here's how you make a Stamosa:
Fill your martini glass with UV Pink Lemonade vodka, add a splash of OJ and cheap-ass champagne. It will give you the worst hangover of your life. Enjoy!

Blanche Devereaux 4ever

Rue McClanahan has new show! Suh-weeet! There are just not enough of the Golden Girls alumni on the tele. Premieres on July 23rd (happy birthday to me!) on Logo, which coincidentally my cable company just added to the line-up.

Read all about it here:
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/24758036.html?mode=reply

pretty persuasion

Tonight, I will see R.E.M.


I am slowly getting really stoked. My decision to go to this show was kind of a half-hearted "Yeah, I used to really be into R.E.M. and the new record is actually pretty good..." But in the last week, I've been listening/thinking about them a lot more. I used to be REALLYREALLY into them, circa 1995. I also had a huge crush on Michael Stipe. Everytime I tell someone that, they are kind of shocked. But I think he's cute! Whatever. What-ev-ER. I saw them when I was 15 on the Monster tour and it was amazing. And 13 years ago...holy crap, I am old. But I digress...check out the setlist I found from that show (oh, helpful internet):

4 October 1995 - Civic Center, Providence, RI
support: Grant Lee Buffalo
set: Pop Song 89 / What's The Frequency, Kenneth? / Crush With Eyeliner / Drive / Wake-Up Bomb / Binky The Doormat / Losing My Religion / Bang And Blame / Undertow / Begin The Begin / Strange Currencies / Revolution / Tongue / Man On the Moon / Country Feedback / The One I Love / Orange Crush / Get Up / Star 69
encore: Let Me In / Everybody Hurts / So. Central Rain / Departure / It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

SO GOOD. Like...can you please play that same setlist tonight? Impossible, I know. Just for fun, I made my own dream R.E.M. setlist. Now, I am in no way an R.E.M. completist, so you won't find any wicked obscure gems on my setlist, but I think it's a decent survey of most of the albums, with the exception of the 3 that came before Accelerate because they don't exist to me. So without further ado, the DesiR.E.M. DreamList:

Drive / Man on the Moon / Radio Free Europe / Talk About the Passion / So. Central Rain / Pretty Persuasion / The One I Love / Pop Song 89 / Stand / Country Feedback (!!) / Low / Crush With Eyeliner / Tongue / Strange Currencies / Bang & Blame / The Wake-Up Bomb / Bittersweet Me

Boys, are you listening? Make me happy! Actually...just play "Country Feedback" and I'll be good. I might even cry. I read somewhere that it's Stipe's favorite song too, so there could be a chance. Talk about the fucking passion, mannn.

Oh, the 80s:

hollywood, PVD

In the past few years, Providence has been the go-to place to film a movie on the cheap. Always the Farrelly bros, more recent stuff like "Dan in Real Life" (featuring my non-sexual crush Steve Carrell) and "27 Dresses" plus that TV show I have yet to watch even though my neighborhood is featured prominently in it, "The Brotherhood." So...yeah...famous people. So far, I've only met one roaming around here. That would be Puddy from Seinfeld. You know, this guy:


Yeah, I totally hung out with him a Jerky's for 5 minutes. He was in "Underdog" which is a movie I will probably never see.

But aaaanyway, this is so not about Puddy. The biggest celebrity-o-rama film that Providence has ever seen has just started announcing the cast. OH BOY! It's "The Prince of Providence" about the belovedly shady RI icon/former mayor, Mr. Buddy Cianci. Oliver Platt is playing Buddy...I don't care. Whatevs. Robin Williams maybe involved too. NO! He annoys me, except as Mrs. Doubtfire, so I won't be seeking him out for hang time. Also Dermot Mulroney, Ed Burns...I'd let them hang out with me probably. But the star that I am totally going to make my BFF is Bradley Cooper. This is Bradley Cooper:


There are few reasons why I heart Bradley Cooper.
1. He played Bill Ze Bub in my second favorite Stella short. "He's SATIN!"
2. He got it on with Michael Ian Black in "Wet Hot American Summer" - then they were married by Janeane Garofalo! SEE!:


3. Um...I guess I only have two reasons. But they are damn good reasons.

Curious to see who else will be cast. Someone should give Rudd or Theroux a part. Just a suggestion...

newflash: blanche devereaux cops a feel on rose nylund!

...while dear Beat-rice (aka Bernice Frankel aka Dorothy Zbornak) looks on proudly. Did Blanche finally run out of men? I don't know if Rose is into the ladies, but there *was* that one time in St. Olaf...



I love these saucy elders! It's too bad Estelle Getty couldn't join the party. She ain't doing so well...
From her official website

This one goes out to Sophia Petrillo!



Seriously, fucking LOVE these ladies!

HA!

I just realized I am awesome because in the last post re: SATC, I ended by totally making fun of cosmos.

Then today, I put up a vintage 2006 Desiree phone pic of brunchy boozing, and what am I drinking? Oh yeah, it's a cosmo.

But, in my defense, I no longer drink cosmos. Just cos...they really don't taste that fucking great at all.

TEAM MIRANDA

Last night, I finally made the pilgrimage that millions of women have made since Friday - I went to see the Sex and the City movie. Overall, it was exactly what I expected. Okay, I read a ton of spoilers. So whatever. It's well-documented that I have zero willpower. Anyway, it was okay. It kept my attention. It was nowhere near as entertaining as the show. Where the show was funny and quirky and sometimes even real-ish emotion-wise, the movie is straight-up cheesy. Like, for serious intensely cheesy. Here are a few of things I take issue with (ps: this list maybe a bit spoiler-y):

1. The whole finding love/Cinderella motif. When Carrie asks Louise why she came to NYC and she replies "I came here to fall in love." ?! Who would ever...ever...EVER do that or at the very least, who would ADMIT to that? ON A JOB INTERVIEW? And the Love keychain. And Big's final proposal, not slipping a ring on Carrie, but a fucking Manolo in the huge closet of Carrie's dreams? Holy shiiiit. Super cringe-worthy.

2. Samantha gets "fat" because she's trying not to jump her neighbor's bones and replacing her sexual urges with cake. Okay, when she showed up in NYC and revealed her tummy "fat" and everyone drew in their breath...I honestly didn't get it. Until they spelled it out to me blatantly, commenting to Sam how much weight she had gained. Dude...she was no one near fat or chubby or plump or anything. She looked the same. PS: Awesome message for your impressionable teen fans, SATC. I blame you for the next generation's eating disorders.

3. Stanford Blatch and Anthony Marentino?! NO NO NO. No fuckin' way. These two hated each for the entire run of the series and all of sudden they're BFF and making out on New Year's Eve? Does...not...compute. Such a cop-out to put these two together just because they're gay. Also, not nearly enough Stanford in the movie. He got like two lines, tops. Argh!

4. The Fergie theme song. This need not be explained. Vomitous!

5. Carrie Bradshaw. She always borderline annoyed me, but Carrie on the big screen makes me wanna throw knives. BAHH!

Not to be an entry of complete negativity, I'll tell you a few things I liked: Miranda as always and the whole Steve/Miranda storyline, Charlotte as comic relief, and Samantha had her moments too. Okay, I liked everyone except Carrie. Wah wah.

PS: And yes, there were groups of girls there in their designer knock-off dresses and stilettos. HEY, DO YOU THINK THEY WENT OUT FOR COSMOS AFTER?

batty for betsey

Yes, my darling dears, it's once again BETSEY TIME!!! Nothing gets more into the blogging spirit than some new, pretty Betsey dresses to salivate over. And then get really depressed about, since I will never own them.

I have pin-pointed what I love about these dresses:
For the most part, they are FITTED. None of this tent/maternity bullshit that is EVERYWHERE. Drapey, shapeless and UGLY. I went to Forever 21 yesterday and I could not find *one* dress that had any kind of fitted shape to it. I'm short, I can't pull off this tenty crap, nor would I want to. Stories are always circulating about Forever 21 ripping off major designers. Hey Forev - why don't you rip off Betsey? Give me a cutie-pie Betsey-esque dress for $20 and I promise I will stop perusing your store with a disgusted scowl on my face. Thanx xoxoxoxo.

Without further ado, on with the cuteness!

Bluebell...to hell...


I have a huge crush on gingham. I actually have a vintage gingham Betsey dress but it's way too big for me and not nearly as cute as this:


This kind of reminds of something I would wear as a kid. But obviously not strapless.


Polka dots + halter = always good. And the polka-dots are bit different than your standard, and I like that very much.

Update: Mission NKOTB

I am officially the proud owner of two tickets to New Kids on the fuckin' Block! And you, YOU are so jealous that you just want to DIEEEEEEEEEE.

I haven't updated here in awhile, but I'll get to back to it. I've just been super-busy and I haven't had time to focus on the mundane, unimportant posts that populate my blog.

hang the dj

I'm cool and I now have one of those awesome Muxtapes. Check it out and judge my musical taste!

http://desirenegade.muxtape.com/

PS: There's a live track from my old band in there. I bet you can guess which one it is!

first kiss was a sweet kiss, second kiss had a twist

The news is good, people! Donnie Wahlberg is no longer holding out and the New Kids on the Block reunion is ON. I realize this post following the Debbie Gibson post makes me seem like some huge loser. Well, I am and I have no shame.

They'll be performing tomorrow morning on the Today show and announcing all the details of this miraculous event. Until then, I'll be hangin' tough.

the future only belongs to the future itself and the future is...ELECTRIC YOUTH!

Or maybe the past...

Can I just say, how the fuck did I never hear about THIS?!



Someone actually wrote a musical based on sixteen songs by Debbie Gibson and it wasn't me! Unfortunately, this looks like it was a one-off deal. I wonder...maybe I can snag a copy of the script and put it on. Hey, I've got theatre connections! I can only imagine the dramatic, tear-jerking scene that must be played out during "Foolish Beat" - oh, that song really tugs on the heartstrings, doesn't it?

(I wish I was kidding. I LOVE Debbie Gibson.)

One other quick note: There's a "Camp Electric Youth" reality show on the horizon. It's just for kiddies, so I can't audition and hang out with the Debster.
Camp Electric Youth Casting Call

converse post mini-sequel

Here's a picture of the Kurt Cobain Converse. Absolutely horrifying.

puh-leaseeee

Dear Weather,

Please get warm enough so I can go to the Hot Club and drink a frozen mudslide.

when a shoe is, like, sooo much more than a shoe

There's been a recent explosion of conversation regarding my chosen sneaker, the classic Chuck Taylor. Lately, I've seen tons of magazines/blogs ruminating on the cultural, social, political, whatever-ical implications of these shoes. My theory is that this newfound scholarly interest is based on two events: the 100th anniversary of Converse and that little movie called "Juno" with all its hip teens.

Mainstream media is casting a damn sneaker as the signifer of "disaffected youth", "hipster-ism" and "slacker culture." But, um, everyone wears Chucks. I'm not disaffected or youthful or overly hip and prefer "bored and lazy" over "slacker, but I live in mine. Always have, always will. I really pretty much hate all other kinds of sneakers - I'm not even very fond of the One Stars. Or actually even the high-top Chucks. Picky, picky indeed.

I heart my Chucks because:
1. They are comfortable and durable.
2. They are cute with jeans.
3. They are cute with skirts AND dresses.
4. They are cute whether they are just a plain ol' black pair or have some fancy shmancy design on them.

Pshh...and I always get mine for $20 or less.

Alright, so it's fucking fashion and function, and then everyone has to go make some big deal about generations and what it means, maaan. This little blogsy was triggered by this article in the Washington Post:
From Hoops to Hipsters

I'm not going to rehash or confront the whole article, you're smart enough to that on your own. But one thing:

"For all its heritage in hoopsters, the brand subsists on hipsters, which is why the company will soon unveil, without a smidgen of blasphemy, a series of its famous All-Stars and One-Stars with Kurt Cobain's signature and scribbled excerpts from his journals.

The Cobain shoes will sell for the unpunk price of $50-$65, suggested retail; inside of one of the soles is a Sharpie scrawl that reads, a la Kurt, "Punk rock means freedom." From fans of Nirvana this has elicited only slight dismay -- Courtney Love strikes again, etc. From Converse collectors, there are advance orders."

Um, that is just really gross and horrendously cheesy. I had heard about the whole Kurt Cobain/Doc Martens thing, but not this. Journal scribblings? On a fucking shoe?

Yeah, stuff like this really makes it hard to defend being a Courtney Love fan. Can I just pretend Courtney after 1999 never existed?

Whatevs, look how cute the Chucks I'm wearing today are:


In other news: LONGEST FRIDAY EVER.

i'm allergic to cats but...

that doesn't mean I don't think they are wicked cuuuu-uuute! If it wasn't for their damn dander...

Today, I am happy to report on two awww-inducing stories.

First - the "I Heart" kitten. OMGGGG. Kitten so little! Kitten so cute! Kitten has secret message in fur! That spells "I heart Dot"! Kitten's mommy is named Dottie! AWWWWWWWWWW!

The full story

Second - not so much of an AWWWWWWWWWW story, but I just think this kitten is super-duper cute. He is a resident of the new "cat cafes" in Japan - basically, you throw down some money to go hang out with kitties. Anyway, this one is my favorite cutie-pie kitten-face. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

The full story

Now that I've made myself vomit-y with cuteness, I'm going to find something to get pissed about and salvage my cynical-lady blog image. Byes xoxo!

Actually, one more thing...

mary janes 4eva

All I want is a pair of silver mary janes. Is that really too much to ask? I had a sweet pair in 9th grade that looked fab with all my babydolls. I wish I could just reincarnate them.

Anyway - Target has these online:



On sale for $13.99! But...of course...they are absolutely not in my size. Damn me for being so goddamn average! Sucks when it comes to sales.

major score

Look what I got last night...$10!



Oh how I love Miss Cho!

Plus a DVD with a bunch of old After-School Specials for $5.99. Oh hell yes!

And and and...my order from Kill Rock Stars arrived on my door-step last night.
Ronnie Spector, Cadallaca, a cheap-o comp, Pussycat Trash 7", Sleater-Kinney poster and bonus Witchy Poo 7". I never really liked Witchy Poo, but whatevs, I like free.

Damn, it was a good day.

zox sux cox

I promise this will be an anomaly to this blog, but I have to this off my chest: I feel like good taste is being personally harrassed by the band called Zox. Holy fuck, do they suck! I'm feeling hatred of almost Dave Matthews-esque proportions. They are a local band that's getting all national-like, but I really had never heard them until the last few weeks (I don't venture very far out of my own little local music orbit). Maybe it's because WBRU* is giving them an unprecedented amount of attention and promotion. Since when does WBRU champion local rock bands during the daytime hours? I swear...everytime they go to the DJ or to a commercial, it's some freakin' thing about Zox. I get it, they went to Brown, they won the Rock Hunt once upon a time, they got signed, and they are playing a KICK ASS show at Lupo's. NEAT. Doesn't deter the fact that they are absolutely HORRID. I mean...just look at them:



"Hello ladies, I play sensitive douche-rock!" (PS: Sweet soul patch, bro.) I have this vague fantasy of running into them in Providence and telling them how much I hatehatehaaate them. But their appearance poses a huge problem for me: they are entirely unmemorable. I would never be able to pick them out of a crowd. Dammit!

I could go on...but I won't. Just one last thing. This lyric really annoys me: "You have to leave the ground to learn to fly." REALLY DEEP. Oh my god, maybe I'm irrational but I hate it, I hate it!

Also, I heard Rusted Root today and it made me vomit-y.

*I know I am torturing myself by actually listening to WBRU, but this week they are playing all their songs from A-Z and I am sucker for any sort of countdown/trip down memory lane. I'll deal with the Zox-trauma for one more day.

dork!

California Town Bans 'Fuck', 'Shit', maybe even 'Damn'

teddy, frankie, alex, georgie...kirby!

I am a huge supporter of getting the cheesiest possible shows from the 80s/early 90s released on DVD. I've long lamented the fact that Blossom has yet to be released. (Remember when Phylicia Rashad guest-starred in a dream sequence as Blossom's mom, and baked her a cake to teach her about her menstrual cycle? Frosted fallopian tubes = awesome!). As my roommate and I were reminiscing about our childhoods via email, another candidate for DVD-worthiness came up: Sisters!



Where were you at 10pm Saturday nights in the early 90s? Well, I was too young to be doing anything interesting, so I was totally watching this show. NBC's Saturday night line-up around this time were just full of awesomeness. Golden Girls (xoxo ladies!), Empty Nest, Nurses...and I think even at some point the freakin' Torkelsons (which is also another show I would love to see on DVD. "Oh, man in the moon...").
Sisters was chock full of soap opera-y goodness, yet I can't really remember exactly what happened. That's why I need the DVD. I know Teddy was my favorite. I read up on Wikipedia and there were a few things that slipped my mind about this show. First of all - I forgot that the Clooney was on it! FALCONER! I think this was the last of the Clooney's impressive run of guest-starring roles before he hit the big time. Anyway, he was hitting it with Teddy.



But the most disturbing lapse of memory...how could I forget KIRBY? Alex's daughter's husband? PLAYED BY PAUL FUCKIN' RUDD??? I mean, he's my number one imaginary boyfriend. Shame on you, Desiree, shame shame shame. You don't deserve the love of the Rudd.



Gosh, he's dreamy.

So I demand: SISTERS on DVD. Thanks.

betsey love

I am no fashionista, but I know designer true love when I see it, and I've been in love with Ms. Betsey Johnson for years. Her creations play right into my obsessions: tutus (duh), princessy accents, short dresses, sparkle and shine, etc. And, goddamn, she seems like a fun lady! Sadly, my own personal Betsey collection comes down to three pieces: a black lacy number that I miraculously scored at TJ Maxx years ago for $70, a pin-striped form-fitter I got on eBay for real cheap, and a brand-new white corset/full-skirt dress that I am too paranoid to actually wear out (dirt!). However, I do love to torture myself by occasionally going on the Betsey website and picking out my favoritest pieces. My latest:



Now, if I were to subject myself to join the masses on the greatest amateur night of them all, St. Patrick's Day, this is what I'd want to be wearing. Coincidentally, last night I purchased a St. Patty's tiara from the Target bargain bins. Leprechaun princess chic? I'm into it!



Marriage material. Meet me in Vegas, baby.



Sparkles AND purple? Um, YES.



A little shot of sophistication. It's like a dress in jacket form, and I want it.



Not into the dress at all, but the scarf...I'm not afraid to indulge in a bit of gaudiness.

For more: www.betseyjohnson.com
Check out the Spring 2008 collection which I love to death, and you'll know exactly how ridiculous I am.

you'll learn to love me

Hello my darling dears, and welcome to my 458th blog endeavor.

As I was fighting my way unsuccessfully through another Vox post on my latest Betsey Johnson wishlist, I made the executive decision to get the fuck out of there. I was having mad picture issues. I don't know what the hell they did to that website, but it just doesn't function correctly anymore. Down with Vox! Boo to your question of the day! I'm breaking up with you!

So I'm back at the Blogspot, where I had a horrible blog back in 2002-03. Basically just the silly rantings of a 22-year-old party girl. LAME. Oh, and the slang...I don't know what my damage was. I still have damage of course, but it's on another whole level.

Ok, so backstory, who cares, blah blah blah, let's move on. This one has a purpose - it's called "Material Issues" because basically this is my mega want list. Gimme-gimme, get it? I have a vision of endless superficiality and a complete lack of substance. Fluffy and greedy and girly. Maybe a little love, maybe a little hate. Hell yeah, that's my manifesto!

One last note: the title is chosen in reverence to the fabulous band Material Issue (aka that other less-talked-about 90s alt-rock suicide). Check them out. No, seriously, do it. Consider yourself commanded, bitch.


xo d